when and where?

okay people..
i got another 2 weeks for my professional exam..
how does that sound to u?

''COOL''?OR....''R U NUTS???''

i'll go for the second one..crazy huh??
yeah2...anatomy,physiology,biochemistry...in 2 weeks time??????
OH MY GOD.

the Q is...where should i begin?
and the problem is, WHEN should i start?

yah, i know..i know...
i've been spending A LOT of money these few days...ye la...mane taknye...its SALE man! paham2 jela sale kat india ni camne kan...HEAVEN. tp kan baru hbs exam.ape salahnye!( 2 weeks longggg,MENYEKSAKAN!)

but back to the topic.when and where?
haiihhh...dah start melepak ni yg payah nak start balik nih...smalam je dh hbskan 3 movie.;p petang tu g benetton.day b4 nye g tgk wyg, n got myself baju esprit and kasut soles.
berjuang tasha!(hehe...ayat poyo)
but somehow,bile flip through my answer sheets dat day, i felt like i could have done better. but still, alhamdulillah.thank you Allah. He always knows the best..>.<

so,ape lagi?get back on ur track lahhh!!!start with something simple.then it will bring u to bigger things.

''nothing is easy. only u,urself who can make things easier.others can only talk not DO.''

there's a future worth fighting

attention or ignorance..

growing up without a father through out my life,made me an independent girl today..*tough enough* i suppose...with a mother who is very strict on me..we are not like those 'lovy dovy' mother-daughter relationships...we dont really share things inside our heart...so,being the only child fo 15 years, i used to keep my feelings to myself....

sick,sad,mad,happy...all alone inside...its just i do share it with my nenek sumtyms..;)

well, being a very lonely girl throughout my childhood,made me realize...
how important a man is to a woman's life...

she can never stand alone....although most of the times she could...
like who i am today, is becoz of my mother...
but still, i need that someone...
someone who could be there with me..through my hard and easy times...
through sadness and happiness....
i know, im not as great as mother...who could do everything on her own...

i want attention as i hardly get it from mother through out my life...
that's y sometimes i tend to be soo demanding...(i know its bad)...but i want it badly...from the one i love..

today,im 20..
everytime i feel neglected i'll turn to someone...someone who i call my 'bestfriend forever',who means more than the world to me..that SPECIAL SOMEONE..
but sometimes,expecting too much,brings me down.that leads me to a worst feeling of being neglected...;(
sometimes he just couldnt be there for me when i need him most...
cant even do simple things that i KINDLY ASK.
the more i know him, the more i hardly understand.

sad.yeahhhh....get so em0 right now...
y cant we be just like others.HAPPY.UNDERSTAND.

hujan,matahari dan pelangi.

Alhamdulillah, hari ni habes dah exam theory 3rd IA.

PENAT

tu yang aku boleh kate wat mase nih.ye lah.mane x benj0l pale otak aku nih.straight kowt exam seminggu.xde BREAK LANGSUNG.

gila kan?memang gila.

but still,
THANK YOU ALLAH. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY PRAYERS.

mungkin bukan yg terbaik.tp cukup baik untuk aku hadapi exam kali ni.
exception utk paper 2 biochem!
mmg salah aku la.xbace kan.
yang lain2,insyaAllah pass.

everytime bile aku down, aku ingat satu ayat kat dlm Al-Quran nih,

'Manusia hanya mendapatkan apa yang diusahakannya'

and thats what made me keep going on.thank you Allah for giving me strength.

skg nih,all i can do is keep praying for good results.

plus,focus for the upcoming FINAL PROFESSIONAL EXAM.fewhhh...plus,next week ade practicals...aiyooo....


so,what i did today???

td pas exam,terus kuar.g GARUDA MALL. tgk transformers dgn member2.
da best part is,exam habes,SUMMER SALE GILER2.but i end up finding nothing that catch my eyes.
then,kitorg pon g la mkn2.tgh2 mkn tuh,terase nk tgk harry porter pulak.
tapi,tgk list,harry porter dah sold out.
dgn gatal nye,nk jugak g tanye pakcik wayang tuh,

'Excuse me sir,is Harry Porter still available?'(padahal dh terang2 tulis SOLD OUT!)haha...

suprisingly,ade!and mmg cukup2 7 org...wahhhh!!!rezeki!terus aku beli 7 tanpe pk due kali.haha.

yang anehnya INDIA nih,tgah2 tgk movie tuh,after 1 n half hour xpasal2 die behenti. break la konon.pekejadahnye ntah.dah la tgah climax!tp pas 5-10 minit,die sambung la blk...

whatever it is, TRANSFORMERS BEST TAHAP DEWAAAA....haha...tp harry porter kurenggg skit lah....slow skit flow die...

owh ye.INDIA dah masuk musim winter.GILER SEJUK AH! tidor pon menggigil.nk amek wudhu' pon kalau boleh nak guna air panas.(gedik giler)...haha...
but somehow,i like the weather...cold wind...cool day =)

langit biru semakin gelap.

kalaulah STRESS tu ade kayu ukur,
aku pasti bg 10/10 utk keadaan aku skrg.

tp semue org nmpk aku ok.
aku happy.
aku xde pape.

aku xpunye mereka seperti di semashur.
utk mendengar segalanye.
utk lapkan tangisan air mata.

fikiran aku bercelaru.
hati aku gelisah.
risau,gundah,segalanya.

xsiapa dengar.
skalipun mendengar, hanya mendengar.
xmerasa yg sama.

aku takut.
GELAP.SEDIH.
kebelakangan ni,sensitif sgt.
senang nanges.(bile sorg)
senang emo.
senang stress.

ARGGHHHH....BERI AKU KEKUATAN YA ALLAH...BANTU AKU..

nenek, sehat cepat.
jage diri.
mkn ubat.
tunggu asha balik.nenek janji.

exam.tlg.tlg.jgn seksa aku.
permudahkan bagiku.

rumah baru environment baru~

alhamdulillah...dah sebulan ddk d umah baru...

seronok...sbb kali ni,rase btul2 mcm umah sendri...

saye dok sebilik dgn mimi.seronok bilik dgn die.syukur Allah, temukan aku dgn tman yg baik spt dia...sempoi orgnye.kami punya cita rasa yg sama.

puas kitorg hias rumah...especially bilik.

satisfaction is when u achieve what u imagined.

apparently,our room turn out to be as we expected.PUAS.sungguh pun pnat.BERGADOH dgn org local to get the best price.walk here n there from street to street.
but yey!

we'r happy together.saye selesa.die selesa.kami GEMBIRA.

INDIA.best.FOOD.PRICE.FLOWERS.even hotel 5 star pon,bleh bargain. senang kate,INDIA=BARGAIN!
except!people here suke kata,
''2 MINUTES MAM.TODAY MAM.OK MAM''

but end up LATE!i mean REALLY2 LATE...grr....

sampai satu tahap tuh,i was so mad,until i said,
''IM GONNA BURN UR SHOP IF U DONT COME!''

ye lah...mane xbengang..tunggu dari pagi sampai mlm...like i have no other things to do!
and guess what, they came right after that.=_= naseb baik...if not,mmg aku bakar je kdai tuh..~

owh ye...exam.exam.FINAL EXAM.+3RD IA...
im tryin...keep on tryin VERY VERY HARD FOR THE BEST...
mungkin ape yg aku impikan tuh..terlalu tinggi.sampai ada sorg 'sahabat istimewa' ni kate
''ala,aim pass je tasha.xpyh susah2 aim jauh.yg penting pass.''

tp bagi aku,salah ke aim jauh2??bukan setiap yg berjaye tu,bermula dgn cita2?usaha la sebolehnye..

Allah pon kate...
''Manusia hanya mendapat apa yg diusahakannya''

janji Allah...aku yakin...aku usaha...tapi Dia lebiih tahu.apa yg TERBAIK untuk aku...

aku cuma perlukan kekuatan...tu saje...supaya aku dpt berjuang....dan terus berjuang...aku xkesah org nak kate ape...mase depan aku.cita2 aku.usaha aku.

tik tok jam berdetik...

MasyaAllah...dah seminggu cuti...buku2 itu....masih belum ku sentuh...

Ya Allah,aku hanyut...dibuai arus IT...facebook,u tube...

anatomy,physio,biochem??tak satu pun dlm list...

subhanallah...jgn biar aku leka begini...ini bukan rentakku...bukan caraku...

sungguh, aku gelisah tiap kali aku kikis masa itu menjadi debu...

nafsu...nafsu....

Ya Allah...final makin dekat...apetah lagi 3rd IA...

jgn Kau duga aku dgn pena MERAH...setidaknya,izinkan aku tersenyum melepasi pintu first year....

teman,bantu aku..

doakan aku...

ingatkan aku....

strong enuff i hope..

hari ni...hari lahirku...
alhamdullillah...syukur Ya Allah...aku masih dipanjangkan umur untuk bernafas di bumi Mu...
namun...hati ini...tak sesenang selalu...puas aku pikir...
akhirnya Dia jawab persoalanku...

perkara yg paling ku takutkan dlm diri...
sering kali menghantui ku...
KEKESALAN...
yup,'regret'..

eg0 itu akhirnya menggugurkan ku...
lemah rasanya iman bila ku terima khabar itu...

pa, im so sorry....
for never being there...
when u need me most...
im d only daughter u have...
but IM NOT A GOOD ONE...

IM SO SORRY..

pa,hold on...
dont let me go...
dont leave me alone..
i need u...
i love u...
though i never let u know i do...

im 20 today pa...
i didnt grow up in front of u...
but really
IVE ALWAYS WISH TO C U
pls...HOLD ON..
i want to be there...but i cant...

Ya Allah...
berikan aku kekuatan...
sungguh...aku bkn anak solehah...
utk Kau kabulkan doa2 ku...buat ayah dan ibu...
namun...aku yakin...
Kau sentiasa mendengar...
berikan aku kesempatan...
utk ku kucup tangan nya biarpun yg terakhir...
jangan biar aku sendiri...
menatap kisah silam...
menangisi kesunyian diri...

REGRETS,
shasha~